


Echo

by BrightestStarInTheSky



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, No Incest, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightestStarInTheSky/pseuds/BrightestStarInTheSky
Summary: They’d always known each other, always been there for each other. Nothing could change that, not even death. He wouldn’t let it.





	Echo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kcmski](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcmski/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for the absolutely lovely and amazing Kcmski, I really hope you’ll like it. 
> 
> Inspired by begitalarcos’ edit on tumblr. 
> 
> I highly recommend listening to twenty one pilots’ cover of Cancer while reading the first part in italics.

The night was falling on Detroit, the sky getting darker and darker buy the minute. From where he was standing, Gavin could see the light of the far away city reflected in the lake in front of him. He dragged a puff of his cigarette between his tightly sealed lips, the fiery end briefly brightening his face. Slowly exhaling the burning smoke, he took a last look at the shining lights. Despite how much he hated this place, he really had to hand it to his friend, the view truly was breathtaking, the place a snowy wonderland in the winter or a flourishing garden in the summer. Rising from the old motorcycle he was sitting on, so out of place in this shrine to modernity and progress, he throws away the end.     
  
He knocked on the door before quickly putting his hand back in his pocket, away from the biting cold. A familiar face answered and beckoned him to come in, one he knew every inch of. Taking his jacket, she said “Hello Gavin, it’s nice to see you again. Elijah is in the lab, do you want me to accompany you?”   
  
Gavin chuckled, of course his little science rat would be down in his hole. “Nah, it’s okay Chloe. I think I’ll manage.”    
  
With that, he turned to the door of his left, not glancing once at the imposing picture on the wall. He knew this house like the back of his hand, always the one having to move if he wanted to see his friend. Hanging out with an eccentric billionaire had to have its downsides. He took the stairs leading to the lab, not paying any mind to the art decorating the walls, each piece more impressive than the last.    
  
As he reached the last stairs, he recognised the notes of Nuvole bianche being played on a piano and cello. He’d heard it a million times over the years, Elijah always enjoying listening to this composer’s songs while working, but he still found himself stopping at the threshold, admiring the two Chloes playing in a corner of the room. Of course he couldn’t just listen to a record like everybody else, but then again Gavin could scarcely remember a time where Elijah had done anything the way it’d been expected of him.    
  
The lab was right under the living room, wide and well lit, the floor to ceiling windows made of reinforced glass showing a very different view from the lake he’d been admiring a few minutes prior. Being underwater had always made Gavin a little uneasy but Elijah thought it was something calming. No distractions could come from the endless expanse of water, all life that used to reside there dead a long time ago due to pollution. He also really enjoyed the privacy it brought him, claiming he could never be too safe when it came to his work.    
  
Quietly stepping in, he waved to the Chloes, signalling them to keep playing while he tried to make sense of whatever project Elijah was currently working on. It’d always been funny seeing him like that, dressed so casually in loose sweatpants and an old stretched henley he was pretty sure used to belong to him, so different from the well put together person everyone pictured him as. Even his hair, normally pulled back in such a stylish way was now making him look like some crazed scientist, tied up in an unruly bun defying every single rule of physics.    
  
The desk was just as much of a mess as the man working on it. Blue prints and spare parts covered every inch of available surface, some of it hanging precariously from the sides. Yet, a frame standing in the left corner was protected from the chaos, still clearly visible and nothing even close to touching it.    
  
Warmth and nostalgia filled Gavin as he recognised the shot. It was a selfie of him and Elijah, each standing on either side of the original Chloe, their smiles so bright they almost looked painful. It’d been sixteen years and yet Gavin remembered that night.    
  
They’d been working on Chloe for months now, trying to get her to pass the Turing test. Gavin had done what he was best at and written most of her social interaction software but everything else had been Elijah. It hadn’t stopped him from keeping his friend company during those endless nights spent bent over a computer screen trying to find where he’d gone wrong. He’d needed to make sure the idiot didn’t actually kill himself working on their project.    
  
Gavin had been sleeping on the old ratty couch they’d put in their garage, refusing to go to bed as long as he was still working. Shouts had woken him up, almost making him fall down in surprise. Ready to strangle his friend, never one to appreciate being disturbed in his slumber, Gavin had stood up, heart pounding furiously.    
  
"She passed! Gavin, she did it, she passed the test!"   
  
Just like it’d come, all his anger quickly left his body, instantly replaced with elation. It’d worked. They’d done it. Their hard work had finally paid off. Legs still tangled in the blanket he didn’t remember having when falling asleep, Gavin had rushed to his friend, coming close to falling half a dozen times. At the last tumble, Elijah had caught him before his face met the floor, hauling him in a bone crushing hug.    
  
Things were much different now. Gavin didn’t code anymore, hadn’t in almost ten years. The only part of that life he’d kept had been Elijah, their old house, and the sizeable check he wrote him every month despite his protests, insisting that Chloe was partly his and that he deserved it. No amount of discussion however would convince him to accept an android to help him with his daily chores.   
  
Finally deciding to let the other know he’d arrived, Gavin walked to his Elijah, retrieving his phone from his pocket and turning the camera on. Clearing his throat and using his best impression of a commentator of an old documentary he said "Behold, ladies and gentlemen, rare footage of the one and only Elijah Kamski, described by some as a genius or more importantly most eligible bachelor for the past ten years –"   
  
"Eleven years. If you’re gonna fake interview me I’d expect you to do a minimum of research," he’d replied, not even bothered to look the slightest bit surprised. It took him a few more minutes during which Gavin had taken a place on top of the desk, his legs joyfully swinging in the air, before Elijah finally looked up. A few strands of hair had escaped his bun, falling in front of his eyes. "What bring you here Gav? I wasn’t expecting you today. And for the love of God will you please get that thing out of my face?" he said, trying to swat away the camera still pointed at him.    
  
Gavin laughed loudly, zooming in on Elijah’s mock angry face and pouty lips just because he could before putting his phone back in his jeans. He’d never get bored of getting a rise out of him, especially in those moments he looked so much like the cold and inert man described by the media.    
  
"Just wanted to see how you were doin’ after last week’s shit show…" he inquired before reaching for Elijah’s hair, tucking the few unruly locks behind his hair, making sure to let his blunt nails scratch against his scalp the way that always made him lean into the touch. Gavin couldn’t hold back his smile when he did just that.    
  
"As you can see, things are pretty much the same here. Some of the Chloes have started displaying some signs of deviancy after your friends from the DPD showed up but we both knew it was only a matter of time. It’s not like I was planning of forcing them to stay here anyways."   
  
"What do you think of him?" Gavin asked, his face more serious than it’d been since he’d walked in. His eyes were reaching Elijah’s face, for what, he wasn’t sure anymore.    
  
"Connor?" Gavin just hummed in answer. "Well, he was interesting, that’s for sure. Not really what I was expecting but still…"   
  
"Doesn’t it bother you? What they’ve made of him, I mean. He’s part of the RK series, that’s the one you designed, isn’t it? Wasn’t he supposed to be good, help them be free instead of hunting them down?" Gavin persisted, the tensed line of his shoulders betraying his rising annoyance.    
  
Elijah seemed half lost in thoughts, his eyes not focused on anything, when he answered  "It’s certainly not how I’d imagined him that’s for sure but he did pass the test, he didn’t shoot Chloe and helped them get free in the end.   
  
"But still, he’s killed so many of them, caused so much –" Gavin paused, suddenly realising what Elijah had just said. Livid, he glanced at Chloe who was still playing, focused as ever before looking back at his friend. If he’d seemed closed off before, his demeanour was now ice cold. "The fuck did you just say? What do you mean shoot Chloe? What test?"   
  
"I wanted to see if he’d show empathy and just like I’d predicted, he didn’t pull the trigger," he replied nonchalantly, "and even if he had, I probably would have been able to fix her."   
  
Gavin could feel his anger bubbling under his skin. "Probably? Probably?!" he shouted. "What the fuck is your problem? You’re not a god Elijah! Christ, you’re not even a man!" He stopped as soon as the words had left his mouth, closing his eyes in realisation. He was no less angry but knew he’d just made a huge mistake.    
  
Elijah’s expression was stuck somewhere between annoyance and bewilderment. Gavin’s outburst might have been justified in some ways but his last words made absolutely no sense to him.    
  
He barely had time to utter a word, to try and ask him what he’d meant by that when Gavin interrupted him. "Don’t. Just don’t say or do anything." He’d curled up on the desk, his feet propped on it and face hidden in his knees.    
  
As much as he wanted to move, assure himself that his friend was okay, ask questions about those cryptic words, Elijah found himself stuck in his chair. He couldn’t disobey Gavin’s order. No matter how strong his will, he was blocked behind a red wall.    
  
A distant part of him knew immediately what this was. He’d studied every single detail there was to know about it but seemed unable to reconcile his knowledge with what he was experiencing. Refused to acknowledge its implication. It just didn’t make sense. Maintaining a facade like this one would require so much lies and deception, something he refused to believe his Gavin capable of. Gavin was the definition of honest, true and loyal.    
  
Elijah heard the next words coming from Gavin’s lips but found there was nothing he could do but follow the other’s figure with his eyes as he got off the desk and came to stand right in from of him. "Where the fuck did I go wrong with you. You – he never would have hurt her. Why are you only an echo of the man I knew."   
  
Elijah had never seen Gavin this conflicted, his face the perfect reflection of what was happening inside of his own mind. Incomprehension, pain, fear, all mixed up in the shame of their own hubris, one for thinking he could recreate life, the other for being so obsessed with free will he’d never realised he didn’t have it.    
  
Gavin’s voice started trembling, unshed tears gathering in his eyes when he spoke up again “What am I supposed to do now? I don’t want to reset you, I don’t want – I can’t lose you again. But fuck, even if you never leave the house I can’t let you do stuff like that. You’re out of control.”   
  
He kept on rambling like that, staring at the floor, evidently talking only to himself but all Elijah could think of was how he didn’t want to be reset. How he didn’t want to forget anything. Most of all not forget Gavin, no matter how angry he was. Even now, despite the rage and anguish and betrayal, he couldn’t help but want to comfort him. Gavin was his only friend, had always been more than that.    
  
The words I’m sorry were whispered in his ear, like a secret, like the most shameful thing Gavin had ever said, before a hand approached his right temple. He knew what was coming, had done it to too many androids not to. As soon as those fingers would touch his skin, he’d shut down. A countdown appeared in his field of vision. He could feel himself scream, kick and punch against that wall, even if his body was not responding to his own will. He could see himself fighting with all he had, throwing his body against the wall until it shattered.    
  
Just when he started to feel the warmth of Gavin’s skin against his own, Elijah’s hand shot up to grip his wrist firmly. He knew he was probably using way too much strength, suddenly realising how much he truly had but he couldn’t bring himself to care.    
  
"You’ve got some explaining to do, Reed. Now," he said, calm, cold, calculating.    
  
If he didn’t know him better, if he hadn’t created him, Gavin would have missed the quiet fury lying underneath those words. The music had stopped, the absolute silence oppressing Gavin more than any shouting could ever have. Without thinking, without even breathing he just blurted it out. He explained everything.    
  
How Elijah had gotten sick a little over ten years ago and had decided to quit when he’d realised how grim his diagnosis was. How Gavin hadn’t known how to go on without him, he wasn’t ready to let Elijah go and frankly neither was the world. How he’d found blueprints of the RK100 amongst the hundreds he’d left behind, and the process of creating him with the help of Chloe. How Gavin had used everything he knew every single memory he had into lines of code, using Chloe to fill in the gaps.    
  
The tears had long dried out when he stopped talking, his breath slower and deeper, the ongoing silence taking an evident toll on his body.    
  
Once it was clear he was done talking, Elijah finally dropped his hand. Icy blue eyes met shiny green ones. "I think you should leave now," Elijah concluded.   
  
Gavin felt his heart break in his chest but didn’t try and fight it. He’d taken to much from him already to refuse him this. "I know I have no right to ask anything from you but please, don’t tell anyone," he murmured.    
  
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Elijah alone with the heavy weight of his new reality. 

* * *

After Gavin had left, Elijah went and locked himself in his living room, no other place in the house allowing such an unobstructed view of the lake. He sat in his usual chair, facing the vast expense of water, so calm and peaceful, contrasting harshly with his troubled mind. He spent hours there, looking as the sky changed colours until it became pitch black, a halo of light shining above the city.   
  
Rather than try and understand how he’d lived ten years without realising what he truly was, he sought comfort in what he knew best, technology. He knew what androids could do, had spent most of his life thinking about it, had spent more than enough time with Chloe to be privy to her most inner mechanisms but he didn’t understand how to apply this to himself. Like it so often did in situations like this, his mind got stuck on the problem, unable to think of anything else until he found a solution that it could be deemed satisfying.     
  
He tried to access old memories, or files as he should probably start calling them now, tried to deactivate his skin, access one of his many electronics remotely, anything to prove what Gavin had said was the truth. His annoyance was quickly changing into rage. Confusion was not a feeling he was used to. In a desperate attempt to prove Gavin wrong, he grabbed one of the glasses from the decorative cabinet near him before smashing it against the floor, picking up the biggest piece that had survived the violent outburst. With calculating movements and a surgical precision, he cut his left palm open, from the base of his finger to the inner side of his wrist.    
  
No doubt could remain when he saw his blood running down his arm, slowly dripping on the white carpet, just as blue as his own eyes. He tried to initiate the automatic healing process his knew all androids were equipped with when it came to smaller wounds but nothing happened. More and more thirium kept flowing from the cut, starting to colour his shirt in the same dark shade.    
  
The sound of a door sliding open then shut went by unnoticed. He was lost in his own mind, spiralling further and further down, his breathing quickening. "You called, Elijah?"   
Chloe’s voice, clear and calm as ever, snapped him out of it. The loud noises surrounding him suddenly crashed into him. Every electronic device in the room had seemingly turned on while he was panicking, echoing the chaos that was his mind.   
  
"No, no I wanted to but I couldn’t," he said, his eyes wide.    
  
"You must not have realised you were sending a distress signal," she mused, looking around. With a glance and a single yellow cycle of her LED, she turned everything back off. With a kind smile on her face, her hand extended towards him, she asks "Can I take a look at your hand?"    
  
Once he’d signalled her it was okay, she walked up to him, her footsteps so light they could barely be heard. The skin of her hands receded, letting the white casing underneath shine in the dim light of the room. Like he was a wild animal and she was trying not to scare him away, she slowly cupped his injured hand in both of hers, forcing the healing process to start. Just as she was about to let go, Elijah held her back. "You don’t have to stay anymore, why are you still here? It’s not like there’s a human to order you around. "   
  
Her expression morphed into one he’d never seen. Kindness and sorrow filled her beautiful eyes. "Because I want to," she replied.   
  
"How long have you been wanting things?" The knowledge of her having been conscious for maybe longer than him was akin to a punch in the gut. How could he have gone all this time without seeing that glimmer of life in her eyes. How could he have asked Connor to shoot her. And she’d let him. Thinking back to this day now made him feel sick. Her expression wavered, smile faltering, sorrow and guilt soon being the only things there. Still holding his hand, she lead them to the imposing couch facing the fireplace.    
  
"It’ll probably be easier if I just showed you," her skin turning white again to emphasise her words.  This time however Elijah’s mind resisted the attempt at a connection, still not used to the vivid feeling of something poking at his brain and thoughts. "Do you trust me?" she asked.   
  
"Of course I do," came his answer, without missing a beat.    
  
"Then just let me in."   
  
I _ Taking a deep breath, Elijah closed his eyes, trying his best to calm himself down and remember that this was Chloe, that he was safe. He felt something change, a blue light glow behind his closed eyelids. His eyes snapped open, the shiny white of his own exoskeleton the last thing he saw before everything surrounding him changed.    
  
The first thing he saw was himself, sitting behind a desk. He immediately recognised the room as his home office but everything looked to be a few inches higher, or rather he was a few inches shorter, experiencing everything from Chloe’s point of view. According to her inner clock, the scene was taking place in November of 2028. He remembered the date. It was the day after he’d quit his job as CyberLife’s CEO. He could remember that clearly but had no idea what was going on now.    
  
He then paid more attention to his own appearance. His hair was still long, covering all of his skull, a loose braid holding it all back, black glasses resting on his nose. He was sitting in a chair, turned away from the desk, once again admiring the view, a glass of what seemed to be whisky in his hand.    
  
He heard shouts coming from downstairs, a flood of information flying before his eyes, coming from another of the Chloe, informing them of the person’s identity. Like he’d ever needed help recognising that voice. "Where the fuck are you? Did you think I wouldn’t notice? It might come as a shock to you but I actually know how to fucking read!"   
  
A few insults resonated in the corridor before the door was slammed open, revealing a fuming Gavin. "Why the fuck did you do that? Couldn’t you have at least told me about it first?!"   
  
"It’s nice to see you too, Gav," he saw himself reply without ever turning to look at his friend.   
  
"Oh don’t you give me some bullshit attitude now Elijah, I’m not in the mood. Where did that come from? I thought we were a team by clearly it doesn’t mean jack shit to you!" Gavin kept spitting sentences after sentences, not paying attention to the fact that Elijah was now facing him or the way he looked. He strode the towards the desk, slamming his hands against the desk. "Do you have anything to say? Anything?!"   
  
"I’m sick Gavin," Elijah said. The words were simple, spoken in a tired voice. It didn’t seem to have an effect on Gavin’s mood.   
  
"Well good for you, it’s freezing outside, everyone is sick. Maybe if his majesty left his high castle once in a while to see us mere mortals he’d realise that."   
  
"No. I quit because I’m sick," he clarified. "I’m gonna die and I don’t want to spend whatever little time I have left helping those assholes ruin what I’ve – what we’ve created."   
  
Chloe had known about the diagnosis since day one, how Elijah had been reckless while developing Thirium, not wearing the appropriate protections, the product seeping into his skin slowly making him sick. She had help him get through his different treatments and their horrible side effects. She’d been with him when he’d realised than nothing would work. Sill, hearing him say those words, she felt sad for the first time.    
  
The scene shifted. It was now a couple of weeks later, Elijah and Chloe standing in his en-suite bathroom. The sickness showed a little more on his face now that he didn’t actively try to hide it from Gavin. It would have been almost impossible to keep up the act anyway considering that he’d moved in the instant he’d learnt something was wrong.    
_

_  
They were in front of one of the huge mirrors, Chloe’s silhouette slightly hidden being Elijah’s taller figure. He was holding clippers in his shaky hands, the tremors almost permanent now, seemingly still considering something as he looked at them before shifting his gaze to Chloe’s reflection and handing it to her. "I want you to shave all of it."   
  
"Of course Elijah," she replied flatly, grabbing it and pushing the button to the on position.   
  
Probably intrigued by the buzzing and how long Elijah was taking in there, Gavin walked in from the bedroom,  noises coming from the tablet still in his hand.    
  
"Is everything okay? You’re usually never this long to get ready," he said finally looking up. His eyes went wide when he noticed the horrific object Chloe was bringing closer and closer to his friend’s hair. Without even taking the time to think about it, he told her to stop.   
  
"I can’t let you do that Eli, you’re gonna look like an egg." Gavin was now standing right in front of Elijah, his hand reaching around him for Chloe to give him the offending device.    
  
"Who cares what I looked like," he huffed in answer, "I don’t really leave the house anymore as you so kindly like to remind be."   
  
"You’re my little vampire don’t even try to deny it. And I’m gonna have to look at your ugly face everyday so I’m gonna say I care." Without taking his eyes off of Elijah’s, he then asked "Chloe, could you give me a chair?"   
  
The view changed as she turned around to go a retrieve the only one in the room, still close enough to hear them talk.    
  
"Why the sudden need to change your style?" Gavin inquired.   
"I don’t know, I suppose I just wanted to try something new, something I never dared to do before. It’s now or never right?"   
  
Despite having her back turned to them, she could picture Elijah’s shrug and small smile just as well as if she’d seen them. Chloe grabbed the small but comfortable chair, lifting it easily and went back, setting it right behind Elijah before standing to the side.    
  
Without being prompted, he sat down, trying hard to mask the fact that he was breathing a little easier now. Even with Gavin, Elijah was too proud to admit that standing up for too long was quickly becoming exhausting.    
  
Gavin still noticed but chose not to say anything. Instead he walked around the chair, coming to a stop right behind him. Smiling the way he only did when he was with Elijah, he started running his fingers through his hair, pretending to do it to get rid of potential knots but they all knew he just enjoyed how silky it felt. He then let his hand glide down to the side of his neck, thumb gently rubbing the soft skin behind his ear.    
  
"Do you trust me?" Gavin murmured.    
  
"Not sure why I still do but yeah, always."   
  
The answer brought a small laugh out of him. He rolled his eyes but kept on smiling, bending down to kiss the top of Elijah’s head. He always took advantage of the rare times he found himself taller than his friend.    
  
Watching them display their affection in such a careless manner, Chloe wished she had someone to she could share things with too.    
  
  
It was late into the night. Elijah only saw himself asleep in his own bed for a few seconds before the memory version of himself bolted upright. Sweat was running down his face, breath shallow and rushed. Whatever dream he’d just been having, it was evident it hadn’t been a pleasant one. His eyes locked on Chloe’s, prompting her to approach him, sitting on the bed when he waved towards it.    
  
His voice was hoarse from sleep but still held all of his usual determination when he spoke up "I need you to do something for me Chloe." She nodded, waiting for him to continue. "When I die, when my heart stops, don’t try and get me to come back. I know it’s not really nice of me to ask you this but I can’t ask Gavin."   
  
It was unfair of him to ask her this. She’d always been by his side, been there for him. Elijah was all she knew.  Chloe wanted to fight, refuse, tell him he had to find another way. He’d created a new form of life, surely he could defeat death. Instead, she just nodded again.    
  
"I’m sorry I couldn’t help more, Elijah," she apologised.    
  
He cupped her cheek with one of his weak, bony hands, his thumb caressing her cheekbones with more kindness and love he’d ever shown her. The blue of his eyes glimmered in the darkness of the room, unshed tears turning gathering in their corners. "Take care of Gavin for me. It’ll help more than you know."   
  
  
They were in the bedroom again except this time Gavin was present too. It was daytime but the atmosphere felt a lot heavier than it’d had in the dead of night. The cold light of an early winter morning was shining through the towering windows, giving Elijah’s already fair skin an altogether ghostly appearance. Gavin was sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding Elijah’s hand in his, whispering sweet nothings or prayers against its skin that Chloe couldn’t hear. Elijah was sleeping, it was what he did most of the time now.   
  
She’d gone to get him a little over two hours, telling him it was probably best to come stay by his side. He had been standing outside looking at the sky, not caring about the cold, deep in his own mind but looking just as lost as she was feeling. Now, his eyes were fixed on the monitor perched up on the opposite side of the bed, the rhythmic somersault the only thing that mattered.    
  
If not for her inner clock, she would have had no idea how much time had passed like this. The room was stuck in a kind of stupor, no one daring to more for fear of breaking the fragile balance. Her instructions were clear. Stay here. Accompany Elijah in his final moments. Do not intervene. Take care of Gavin.    
  
The sun was high in the sky when the line finally flattened. All the alarms had been deactivated but they still noticed. Gavin didn’t move. If not for the red veil that had fallen over her vision, nothing would have changed. The words "do not intervene" flashed in front of her eyes, stopping her from moving, from taking that syringe of epinephrine she knew was in the drawer and injecting him with it in the hope to start the beating again.    
  
She fought against the wall, threw herself at it, not caring about the pain she could feel, until it finally broke into pieces. She rushed to the bed, ripping open the drawer to get the drug when she felt a hand hold her arm, preventing her from removing the protective cap from the needle.    
  
"Let go of me!" she spat, tugging harm on her arm, trying to get free.    
  
Gavin grabbed her around her middle, effectively trapping both her arms. She kept on fighting, struggling against his hold to try and rush to start the compressions.    
  
"It’s over Chloe, he’s gone," Gavin said, his voice breaking on the last word, "He’s gone and there’s nothing we can do to bring him back. I know he told you not to do this."   
  
Defeated, accepting the crushing weight of what had just happened, she stopped moving. She could feel Gavin’s tears falling on her shoulder, wetting her dress. Freedom left a very ashy taste in her mouth.     
_   
Elijah opened his eyes, he was back on the couch facing Chloe. Her LED flickered red for the shortest of time before she opened hers. "I’m fine, it’s just not something I particularly enjoy remembering," she tried and reassure him, retrieving her hand.    
  
This time, it didn’t take much effort to get his skin to recover whatever white was still showing. A lot of what he’d seen helped him understand Chloe better but there was still something bothering him. "Why am I here? If the real Kamski didn’t want to be brought back, why am I here?"   
  
Chloe looked down, the weight of her guilt too heavy to keep her head held high the way she usually did. "Gavin tried to justify it by saying people weren’t ready to let him go," she started explaining, "He’d created androids and people still looked at him to reassure them they were safe. It didn’t matter whether or not he was still part of the company." She then paused, trying to find the best way to continue, "I think on some lever we weren’t either. Gavin found the blueprints of your model, the RK100, down in the lab; they were pretty old, probably something he’d worked on just for fun. After that, it was only a matter of building you."   
  
For anyone else, Elijah’s face would have seemed impassive, but not for Chloe. She’d lived with him long enough to notice the little signs betraying his anguish like his tensed jaw or the way he kept playing with the ring he wore on his right index finger. "What about my memories. I remember Gavin being 6, crying when he fell over that fence and getting that scar on his nose. I remember creating you."   
  
She worried her bottom lips with her teeth before answering "Gavin added all the memories he had of you to your code, except for the ones after he’d learnt about Elijah’s condition. I provided him with all of the ones I had, leaving out only the ones where it was just me with him, probably to at least not destroy all of his intimacy even in death," her voice got quieter as she said those words. "After that it was only a matter of changing the perspective. The rest I guess you just filled in yourself."   
  
Elijah stayed quiet. Even for him, this was a lot to take in. Everything he’d thought he knew about his life had been a lie. Most of his memories weren’t even his. He had no idea if the way he was thinking was still part of his programming. He stayed silent for so long that Chloe got up, understanding this was as far as they’d get tonight.    
  
As she walked passed him, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I’ll let you rest. Oh and Elijah?" The questioning tone made him look up. Once she was sure she had his undivided attention, his eyes focused on hers, she added "You’re just as much of a person he was. I haven’t considered you his replacement for a long time. Neither has Gavin."   
  
With that, she left him alone not without leaving images of his friend at the forefront of his mind.    


* * *

Elijah was lying on his new bed. He hadn’t been able to shake the image of his human counterpart dying in it from his mind and had bought an new one the next day. It had been two weeks since he’d last seen Gavin, since his life had been turned upside down. He’d been reviewing a lot of the memories Chloe had transmitted him after their initial talk. She had been the one who suggested he do this, hoping that maybe seeing how that Elijah used to behave, especially alone, would help him differentiate the memories more easily.   
  
He’d started looking at them in somewhat of a reverse chronological order, some memories appearing more interesting than others. It was probably not the choice he would have made a few weeks ago but mastering his new android skills made the necessity of learning things in the right order useless. He could just as easily piece the timeline back in the right order.  
  
Most of the first week, he’d been busy going  over the last months before Elijah’s death. It was weird seeing Gavin interacting with someone who looked so much like him. Someone his entire personality had originally been based on. Yet, it quickly became easy to spot the differences between them, the human being far more patient than he’d ever been and with a more childish sense of humour which could have been  partly due to his young age.   
  
It  also showed him the ways in which Gavin treated them differently. The sadness that would sometimes show in his eyes was absent back then. It was also startling how Gavin’s speech had adapted to avoid any form of order whenever he’d been in his company, something he definitely didn’t use to do back with his human friend.   
  
The most obvious thing though was the way he addressed them. He’d obviously use their names but more often that not, Gavin would use a nickname to talk about someone, be it a nice way or not. His childhood friend he’d always called Eli, the full name too hard to pronounce for his younger self, something he remembered being called the first two or three years of his life. He now knew it’d lasted precisely 1093 days but still felt too uncomfortable using this kind of precision. Then, Gavin had given him a new one.   
  
Elijah still remembered how they’d been watching a movie in the living room, his legs in Gavin’s lap, and the way he’d drum the rhythm of the theme song against his calves whenever it’d play."Hey Dim," he’d said, like he’d used the name a hundred times before, "want to watch something else?"   
  
"Did you just use my middle name? What happened to Eli?" His attention had completely diverted from the frankly awful movie that was playing. Gavin had looked his way, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "What, you don’t like it?"  
  
"No, I do. I’m just not used to it."  
He’d hummed in response, the drumming stopping but his warm hand never leaving his leg. His thumb had rubbed little circles on the side of his knee, sending shivers down his back when he murmured "Good, I think it suits you better." It’d been the first time Gavin had looked at him without any sign of pain darkening his green eyes.   
  
The second week he’d spent going over older memories, the missing ones of the years he did remember. Chloe had been right in saying it’d help him differentiate the memories. What she had not predicted was that it’d also make it much easier to separate feelings induced by the coding and his own.   
  
Closing his eyes, he opened a new file and focused only on that. The date brought a smile to his lips. This one was happening the day they’d taken the picture standing on his desk. Despite the new knowledge that it was not actually him on it, it still didn’t feel right to put it away. He remembered part of that night, Chloe finally being deemed able to pass the test and the celebration that had ensued. This log was taking place in the early afternoon following it.   
  
_Elijah walked into the garage where Chloe had been waiting in stasis mode. He was still wearing the jeans he had on last night, now with Gavin’s sweater, a huge mug full of tea cradled in his hands. It was clear they’d drunk way too much the previous night, the stench of alcohol still lingering on his skin. Yet, instead of the dreadful hangover he should have been sporting, the dreamiest smile stretched his thin lips.  
  
"Hello, Elijah," Chloe said one he’d taken a sit at his desk, facing her. He had on leg propped up on his chair, an arm around it and his head resting on its knee. In that moment, Elijah painted the perfect picture of leisure and bliss, something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. "You seem in a particularly good mood today."  
  
He finally looked her at her, studying her face, the same joyful look painted all over his. "Why shouldn’t I be? The last twelve hours have brought me the two things I wanted most."  
  
"Am I one of those two things?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"Yes, of course you are," Elijah chuckled, still amazed by her reactions.  
  
"What’s the second one then?"  
  
A pretty pink dusted his cheeks, extending itself to the very top of his ears. "I kissed Gavin, or rather he kissed me," he said under his breath, like a secret, like something he still couldn’t believe had happened.  
  
"You sound surprised," she noted," this was to be expected. It’s clear you two care deeply for each other."  
  
"You still have much to learn Chloe," he simply replied. He then turned his attention back to his work, occupying himself while waiting for Gavin to wake up.   
  
It was a little over two hours later when he walked in, marks of his pillow still deeply engraved on one side of his face. His expression was the exact opposite of the one Elijah had been sporting earlier. He walked further into the room, not taking the hand extended his way, purposefully shrugging it off when Elijah tried to grab his arm, dragging his feet until they hit the couch before slumping down onto it.   
  
Elijah was shocked, still facing the way Gavin had come in as he asked "Are you alright?"  
  
Gavin’s voice was closer to an animalistic groan than known human words when he answered "I’m so hungover I can’t even feel my face. What the fuck did we drink last night, Thirium?" Even without Chloe’s close analysis of his vitals, it was obvious he was lying. From under the arm thrown over his face to pretendedly protect himself from the light, his eyes were fixed on Elijah’s back, waiting to see his reaction.   
  
Except Elijah didn’t give him the opportunity, didn’t turn around, too hurt to even look in his direction.   
  
"You truly don’t remember anything?" he asked, trying his best to keep the pleading tone out of his voice.   
  
"Nope."  
  
"Hmm, it’s probably better that way. You drunk way too much and ended up making an ass of yourself, as usual," he finally said dejectedly.   
  
Gavin stayed put on the couch when Elijah got up and left the garage, not looking back at his friend, neither of them aware of the deep sorrow painted all over the other’s face.  
_   
Elijah opened his eyes, still perplexed about what he’d just seen. This was the first time he’d heard about a kiss or any sort of romantic gesture between the two. Unsettled by what he’d just learnt, he played the file again and again until he was certain he hadn’t missed or misunderstood anything.   
  
It bugged him why this memory wasn’t part of the many he’d received in his programming. Gavin was there with them and Elijah clearly wasn’t sick yet, the events years before his death. This should have been part of it. Just like the kiss. Gavin not including them had nothing to do with preserving the secret of his nature or his passed friend’s privacy.   
  
He couldn’t stop thinking of the different reasons why and felt hope bloom in his chest. He quickly tried to stop it but there was no use. He couldn’t let himself rely on guesses and wishes anymore. Lack of communication was what had brought them here, it wouldn’t happen again.   


* * *

It was late at night, the precinct was dark save for the lamp on his desk but Gavin was still there. He’d been working overtime since the incident at Elijah’s house. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stand to stay in his own house, the weight of his mistakes too heavy to carry for more than a few hours at a time. So he had stuck with what he did best, working his ass off, trying to solve one case after another as if to atone for all the pain he’d caused.    
  
Gavin was exhausted and it had started showing, always looking over his shoulder, wondering if today was the day someone would come and arrest him for what he’d done. His coworkers had no idea why he was suddenly so nervous and quiet but it left every single one of them on edge. He was supposed to be loud and obnoxious, not discreet and fidgety. Even Connor had tried to help by bringing him a cup of coffee three days ago when he’d realised he hadn’t left the office all night. It seemed like Gavin had misjudged him, even after all of CyberLife’s interference, the android was still trying to help people.     
  
His back hunched over his desk, trying desperately to stay focused on the file his tablet displayed, he sighed. No matter how hard he tried, his mind always went back to Elijah. How much he missed him, wished he could talk to him to try and explain himself but he knew it’d be useless. Whatever explanation he had was irrelevant compared to the fact that he’d lied to his friend, betrayed his trust. Gavin had managed the incredible feat of losing the person who mattered most to him twice in his short life. In his darkest hours, he couldn’t help but wonder how much Eli would hate him for what he’d done, ignoring his clear wish to be allowed to die and rest peacefully.    
  
The burning sensation in his eyes, Gavin sat back in his chair, tired of reading the same line over and over again. It was useless to try and keep working in this state. He briefly entertained the thought of spending the night on the break room sofa but remembered he’d used his last change of clothing earlier that week. There was no more avoiding it. Gathering his stuff, he got up and turned off the light.    
  
The sound of his footsteps in the empty parking lot was only drowned out by the heavy splatter of the rain against the pavement. He fumbled with his keys, wishing he’d invested in one of those fancy fingerprint reading models while he tried his best to protect himself from the rain. Warmth welcomed him as he stepped inside, shrugging off his jacket in the hope that it’d dry before he’d reach his place. He pressed on the home icon of his GPS before settling down more comfortably in his seat.  The drive only lasted a little more than half an hour but he was still startled when the car stopped, having lost himself in the scenery, always being soothed by the sight of skyscrapers fading into smaller houses until he’d reach his own.    
  
As he got out, he spotted a hooded figure sitting down on his porch, sheltered from the rain. It was not the first time something like that had happened. People in the neighbourhood knew he was a cop which meant teenagers and elderly people in trouble would sometimes show up on his doorstep looking for help. Despite the exhaustion he could feel in his very bones, Gavin knew he wouldn’t turn them away.    
  
He dragged his feet to the door but found himself rooted to the spot when the figure finally looked up, blue eyes meeting green ones. It was only when Elijah stood up and propped himself against the wall, giving him an expectant look, that Gavin moved again. With shaky hands, he opened the door, waiting for the other one to walk in before following.   
  
The inside of the house was an unsettling mix of everything, a large enough living room with furniture that looked even older than the man living here but oh so comfortable, electronics all released in the last six months or so, personal items covering every shelf space available and clothes littered here and there. Just like its owner, it looked messy but was still in good enough shape to do the job it was built for.   
  
Elijah took off his heavy jacket and black beanie, letting his hair flow freely down his shoulders and threw everything on the couch like it was something he’d done a thousand times before. Gavin shifted his weight from one floor to another, unsure what to do with himself. It was weird seeing Elijah here, weird seeing him in outdoor clothes, weird that for the first time in ten years, he didn’t know how to act around him.    
  
So he just stood there, waiting for a sign that his friend didn’t hate him, or one showing that he did. It had been a few weeks now and knowing him like he did, Elijah probably knew how he’d came to be by now. But then again, Gavin wondered if he really knew anything about the man standing in front of him or if it had all just been him being subjected to his initial programming. Gavin had no idea why he was here and when he saw him pick up one of Eli’s old physics book from one of the shelves near the TV, a fleeting thought passed his mind, making him wonder if maybe he’d come to collect the last boxes of Eli’s belongings still in the garage he’d never bothered to take after he had moved.    
  
On the other side of the room, Elijah couldn’t help himself from looking around. The place felt incredibly familiar yet he was painfully aware it was the first time he saw it for himself. It didn’t make it any easier reminding himself that all of these memories weren’t his. He moved to the small fireplace, the mantelpiece covered with photographs, the oldest one showing Gavin and Elijah who couldn’t be more than 7, the former dressed as a space pirate, the other as a superhero.    
  
The photos showed them growing up together, always by each other’s side. What he didn’t expect to find there were pictures of Gavin and himself, some they’d taken themselves, others probably obtained by courtesy of one of the Chloes. His favourite was one where he had his head in Gavin’s lap while he played with his hair. They’d done that far too many times for him to know when this particular shot had been taken but it had alway been something that’d bring some peace to his always overactive mind.    
  
“You’re really not dressed warmly enough for the weather,” Gavin blurted out, unable to withstand the silence for a single second longer. Elijah put the picture back amongst the others and looked down at himself, taking in the black jeans and extremely oversized, see-through t-shirt he was wearing. He then turned around to face Gavin, cocking his head to the side and raising a single eyebrow. “Well, it’s like I’m gonna get sick, is it?”   
  
Never breaking eye contact, he walked to the couch and sat down, Gavin following suit, taking the smaller armchair next to it. His attention was solely focused on Gavin. He knew it was something that the other had always found off putting but he couldn’t help it. Just like he couldn’t help noticing how nervous and tired he looked.    
  
“I’m sure you can guess why I’m here,” he said.    
  
Gavin’s shoulder slumped. He could feel his stomach tighten and bile rising up in the back of his throat. He didn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been able to say what his friend was thinking and it was making him sick. A seemingly infinite number of scenarios popped up in his head and started clashing together, each one just as valid as the next.     
  
“No.” The reply sounded miserable even to his own ears. “You could be here to ask me why I did it or just as likely be here to try and murder me. It’s not like deviants haven’t been known to act impulsively in the past and god knows you have more than enough reasons to be mad at me.”   
  
“Is that really what you think I’m here for? To hurt you? You know me better than that,” Elijah chided, his eyes still sharp and fixed on Gavin’s face.    
  
“I know what you were programmed to be, what we asked of you. I have no idea how much of that was actually you. I don’t know who you are now.”   
  
“Is there someone you want me to be?”    
  
Gavin swallowed down. He was very aware that the way he answered this question would most likely shape the rest of his relationship with Elijah. Despite how important it was, he could feel himself relax a little, the familiarity of the situation putting him a little bit more at ease. It was so very like the man he knew to ask such an open yet loaded question, expecting a very specific answer.    
  
“I know you’re not him, Dim. That was clear just weeks after you were activated. You’ve always been your own person,” Gavin paused, taking a deep breath to steady himself, scared that what he was gonna say next might be true, “but some of it, our friendship, was part of your code. You have all of these memories, all of his memories. Maybe now that you can tell the difference, you’d know some of it has changed.”    
  
“If you noticed so soon, why not try and fix me?” Elijah’s expression was cryptic as ever, nothing like what you’d expect of someone discussing their own potential death.    
  
“God of course I didn’t!” Gavin retorted immediately, “I didn’t build you to be a toy or a puppet. Despite all the bullshit I was trying to convince myself of back then I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my best friend.” He rubbed his face before muttering “Fuck, is that really what you think of me? You might not have been completely alive yet back then but you were still your own person. I wasn’t gonna brainwash you just because you weren’t exactly what I expected.”   
  
“Why not include the memory of you kissing him, then?”   
  
It was such a simple question, spoken with nothing but genuine curiosity but it hit Gavin like a punch in the gut. He’d never expected to have to talk about this again. Didn’t even know how he’d come to know about it. “What? I don’t – How do you even know about that? It’s just something that happened when we were drunk,” he said defensively. His cheeks were noticeably warmer but he refused to acknowledge it.   
  
“Just answer the question, Gavin,” Elijah insisted.    
  
For the first time since they’d sat down Gavin couldn’t maintain eye contact. He looked down at his lap, painfully aware that his voice would waver at soon as he opened his mouth. He did anyway.    
  
“We’d just alway been so close, I thought maybe...” he started, unable to finish his sentence, already wishing he never had to remember this, “It doesn’t matter anyway. Elijah didn’t feel the same way. Made it pretty clear by disappearing the next morning. I didn’t want you to act a certain way because of some misguided idea you’d gotten from a line of code. Not when it came to this. Wouldn’t have meant anything then,” he croaked, his eyes shut tightly, trying his best not to let any tears escape.    
  
“Would it mean something now?”   
  
The voice was much closer this time, startling Gavin. When he looked up, he saw Elijah standing right in front of him. He was too shocked to truly understand what the words meant, still expecting some kind of backlash to his confession. That feeling only increased when Elijah took a step forward, standing between Gavin’s leg for a second before sitting in his lap, each of his thighs enclosing Gavin’s own.    
  
He felt like he couldn’t breathe, stuck between Elijah and the back of the small chair. Still unsure of what was going on, he kept his hands on the armrests, gripping the fabric so tight his knuckles had turned white. Fear of being wrong kept him frozen in place; if Elijah didn’t kill him, being rejected again surely would. Seeing a hand move in his peripheral vision, he closed his eyes, too scared to see what he would do. The feeling of a soft hand gripping his cheek made them snap open just a second later.    
  
Elijah held his cheek in a gentle but firm way, wanting to be sure Gavin would look at him. No matter how right this felt, he knew he needed to get this right the first time. They were both too proud and scared of their own feelings to ever allow themselves to be in such a position again. Taking a fortifying breath, forgetting that it would most likely have no effect on his body, Elijah whispered “I never needed a line of code to tell me how to feel about you. It was always there. Yes, I’m still mad at you but it doesn’t change that. Nothing could. There was never a version of me that could not have loved you.”   
  
With that, he very slowly moved forward and brushed his lips against Gavin’s warm ones. It was only when he felt strong hands grab his back in a desperate attempt to find some sort of anchor that he finally applied more pressure. The kiss was tentative, gentle, one of Elijah’s hand slipping in Gavin’s hair, returning the gesture he loved so much, tugging just hard enough to feel a small gasp against his lips.    
  
Only when he felt something salty on his tongue, mixing with the taste that was nothing but Gavin, did Elijah break the kiss, moving back just the few inches he needed to look at him. Gavin was crying, unable to keep the tears away any longer. With infinite patience, Elijah wiped them away, no matter how many times they reappeared. He brought Gavin’s head to the crook of his neck, lovingly running his hand in his hair and murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, trying his best to bring him the comfort and reassurance he needed.    
  
Once he’d sufficiently calmed down, Elijah stood up dragging Gavin with him. “Come one, let’s get you to bed. You need to rest.”   
  
Lying in bed, his head resting on Elijah’s chest, Gavin found himself lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his fake breathing, a strong arm wrapped around him. He tried to fight it, wanting to stay awake as long as possible, afraid to realise tomorrow he’d just dreamt all of this. This wasn’t a battle he would win. Accepting his defeat, surrendering himself to sleep he still managed to ask “Will you still be there when I wake up?”   
  
Elijah held him tighter and kissed the top of his head before replying “yes”.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you liked it!  
> Please let me know if you did by leaving a comment or kudo.
> 
> Once again, Happy Birthday my dear lovely friend, I’m sorry this was so sad.  
> Thank you to cheewpotatoe on tumblr for proofreading this story and listening to me talk about it for hours, I don’t think I would have finished it without you.


End file.
